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Online People Relationship Dating

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Online dating and match making.Online Dating

First Published: January 2000
Last Update: December 2002
Author: Computer Partners

The Internet was the dating hub of the 90s. Whether it was men seeking women or women looking for men. Now with the 00s upon us, there is nothing to indicate that things will change any time soon.

Besides being touted for establishing relationships and bringing couples together, tearing them apart and inspiring the movie, You've Got Mail; the online dating game is big business.

Online Dating is Big Business:

In an article in the Industry Standard, in September, Rachel Lehmann-Haupt reported that one of the leading dating services, Match.com, had been snapped up by Ticketmaster for close to $50 million. Following that purchase, Ticketmaster also acquired the online dating service, One&Only.com for about $40 million in stock.

John Spottiswood, the president of Match, was reported to have said that their dating site had grown from 300,000 registered singles and other members in December 1997 to over 2.2 million in 1999. The site produced revenues of $3.5 million and made claim to have been instrumental in more than 700 marriages.

According to Lehmann-Haupt, Matchmaker doubled the number of members this past year to 300,000. The company wouldn't reveal its actual revenue figures, but last June, it had raised $5.5 million from Vantage Point, White Rock Capital and individual investors.

She also identified Swoon, Matchmaker and Match as the leading players in the industry. Match and Matchmaker charge for subscriptions. CondeNet's Swoon remains a free service.

There are also a lot of other dating services out there that are free. Take for example CyberDating.net, an excellent dating service with the motto "If someone asks for your money ~ It must not be CyberDating.net".  There are also a whole host of sites that specialize. For instance there is a golfers dating service, a vegetarian dating service and one that caters to professionals. What ever you're looking for in a potential mate, you will be sure to find.

The Appeal of Online Dating Services:

As Net Life reporter Dina Gan pointed out in her article Love at First Bye, there is the perception out there that finding someone online indicates that they are at least smart enough to be able to use a computer. Because you're dealing with a world market, you have a better chance of finding someone who might match your intelligence, age and interests.

Rachel Lehmann-Haupt sees the appeal of online dating as something that fits into a hectic lifestyle. "As people stay single into their late 20s and 30s, work longer hours and chase jobs around the country, they are beginning to look for new ways to meet potential mates."

She quoted Andrea Baker, a sociologist at Ohio University who theorized that the approach to online dating is more popular because the stakes are lower. `"People can cut off the process of getting to know each other when ever they like." The information revealed in writing is often deeper than in person, she says, especially for men. "The relative anonymity of the text allows people to explore more thoroughly their own thoughts and feelings."'

How to Write the Dating Email:

In an article in NET LIFE Ray Tennenbaum talks about the significance of good writing skills in the online dating game, where email has become the medium of exchange. According to Tennenbaum, if you're a good writer, your PC can make you a regular electronic Cyrano.

Michael R. Hyman, professor of marketing at New Mexico State University offered some writing tips in Net Life for people engaging in online romance. When you compose your email make sure that it expresses the real you. If you can, spend time crafting your emails rather than writing them on the fly. Always maintain a positive tone, sarcasm can back fire online since the other person can't see you smile or wink. Or can they?

This brings up the question of emoticons.

In case you aren't aware, emoticons are those symbols that people use in emails to express their feelings. Ones that you see frequently are the ":-)" smiley face or <g> at the end of a phrase to indicate that the person writing is smiling or grinning.

Lamar Graham, the founder of Condé Nast's Swoon doesn't think much of emoticons.

He was quoted in Net Life as saying "I know the idea is that people use them to convey emotion that they couldn't otherwise convey -- that just means to me they're poor writers. As a professional writer I look at emoticons as a crutch. But as a civilian, I still think they're a crutch.

People need to be cognizant that what they write can be taken in different ways, and therefore they need to be precise. A lot of times you'll see somebody make a really harsh or smart-assed or cutting comment, and then attach a little smiley face at the end, as if that somehow indemnifies or absolves, and I think that's unacceptable -- say what you mean and mean what you say…"

Graham is also an associate professor of journalism and director of digital journalism at New York University, so perhaps he can be forgiven for his displeasure of emoticons. :-)

One big problem with corresponding through email is that some people will accidentally hit the send button before their email is completed or before they are certain that they want to send it.

Graham offers some more email advice when he says, "I make it a practice of writing the e-mail before I put anything in the address line, so that if I accidentally hit the Send button, it won't send. And so I write the whole e-mail, and then I decide, 'Am I going to be committed or arrested if I send this?,' and if the answer is 'Yes,' then I nuke it and don't send it. If it's OK, then I fill in the 'send-to' area."

And then of course there is the hidden meaning in words that you find in emails. Make sure you watch out for these give away words so that your dating experience doesn't turn into a dating disaster.

According to Y-Life Daily reporter, Scott Alexander, it is all a matter of knowing the lingo. 'For instance, if a guy describes himself as "house-trained," that actually means "I'm sick and tired of having to clean up after myself." If he says he's "open-minded", it means "I'd eventually like to have sex with all your girlfriends as well as with you.…" when a woman describes herself as "feminine" it means "you can pay for everything," and "happy" actually means "on medication."

Links to Dating Services :

If you are brave enough to jump into the online dating game. Here are some links that you may find useful.




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