 Online
Dating
First Published: January 2000
Last Update: December 2002
Author: Computer Partners
The Internet was the dating hub of the 90s. Whether it was men
seeking women or women looking for men. Now with
the 00s upon us, there is nothing to indicate that things will change any time
soon.
Besides being touted for establishing relationships and bringing couples together, tearing
them apart and inspiring the movie, You've Got Mail; the online dating game is
big business.
Online Dating is Big Business:
In an article in the Industry Standard, in September, Rachel
Lehmann-Haupt reported that one of the leading dating services, Match.com, had been snapped up by Ticketmaster for close to $50 million.
Following that purchase, Ticketmaster also acquired the online dating service, One&Only.com
for about $40 million in stock.
John Spottiswood, the president of Match, was reported to
have said that their dating site had grown from 300,000 registered singles and
other members in December
1997 to over 2.2 million in 1999. The site produced revenues of $3.5 million and
made claim to have been instrumental in more than 700 marriages.
According to Lehmann-Haupt, Matchmaker doubled the number of
members this past year to 300,000. The company wouldn't reveal its actual
revenue figures, but last June, it had raised $5.5 million from Vantage Point,
White Rock Capital and individual investors.
She also identified Swoon, Matchmaker and Match as the
leading players in the industry. Match and Matchmaker charge for subscriptions.
CondeNet's Swoon remains a free service.
There are also a lot of other dating services out there that
are free. Take for example CyberDating.net,
an excellent dating service with the motto "If someone asks for your money
~ It must not be CyberDating.net". There are also a whole host of sites that specialize. For instance
there is a golfers dating service, a vegetarian dating service and one that
caters to professionals. What ever you're looking for in a potential mate, you
will be sure to find.
The Appeal of Online Dating Services:
As Net Life reporter Dina Gan pointed out in her article Love
at First Bye, there is the perception out there that finding someone online
indicates that they are at least smart enough to be able to use a computer.
Because you're dealing with a world market, you have a better chance of finding
someone who might match your intelligence, age and interests.
Rachel Lehmann-Haupt sees the appeal of online dating as
something that fits into a hectic lifestyle. "As people stay single into
their late 20s and 30s, work longer hours and chase jobs around the country,
they are beginning to look for new ways to meet potential mates."
She quoted Andrea Baker, a sociologist at Ohio University who
theorized that the approach to online dating is more popular because the stakes
are lower. `"People can cut off the process of getting to know each other
when ever they like." The information revealed in writing is often deeper
than in person, she says, especially for men. "The relative anonymity of
the text allows people to explore more thoroughly their own thoughts and
feelings."' How to Write the Dating Email:
In an article in NET LIFE Ray Tennenbaum talks about the
significance of good writing skills in the online dating game, where email has
become the medium of exchange. According to Tennenbaum, if you're a good writer,
your PC can make you a regular electronic Cyrano.
Michael R. Hyman, professor of marketing at New Mexico State
University offered some writing tips in Net Life for people engaging in online
romance. When you compose your email make sure that it expresses the real you.
If you can, spend time crafting your emails rather than writing them on the fly.
Always maintain a positive tone, sarcasm can back fire online since the other
person can't see you smile or wink. Or can they?
This brings up the question of emoticons.
In case you aren't aware, emoticons are those symbols that
people use in emails to express their feelings. Ones that you see frequently are
the ":-)" smiley face or <g> at the end of a phrase to indicate
that the person writing is smiling or grinning.
Lamar Graham, the founder of Condé Nast's Swoon doesn't
think much of emoticons.
He was quoted in Net Life as saying "I know the idea is
that people use them to convey emotion that they couldn't otherwise convey --
that just means to me they're poor writers. As a professional writer I look at
emoticons as a crutch. But as a civilian, I still think they're a crutch.
People need to be cognizant that what they write can be taken
in different ways, and therefore they need to be precise. A lot of times you'll
see somebody make a really harsh or smart-assed or cutting comment, and then
attach a little smiley face at the end, as if that somehow indemnifies or
absolves, and I think that's unacceptable -- say what you mean and mean what you
say…"
Graham is also an associate professor of journalism and
director of digital journalism at New York University, so perhaps he can be
forgiven for his displeasure of emoticons. :-)
One big problem with corresponding through email is that some
people will accidentally hit the send button before their email is completed or
before they are certain that they want to send it.
Graham offers some more email advice when he says, "I
make it a practice of writing the e-mail before I put anything in the address
line, so that if I accidentally hit the Send button, it won't send. And so I
write the whole e-mail, and then I decide, 'Am I going to be committed or
arrested if I send this?,' and if the answer is 'Yes,' then I nuke it and don't
send it. If it's OK, then I fill in the 'send-to' area."
And then of course there is the hidden meaning in words that
you find in emails. Make sure you watch out for these give away words so that
your dating experience doesn't turn into a dating disaster.
According to Y-Life Daily reporter, Scott Alexander, it is
all a matter of knowing the lingo. 'For instance, if a guy describes himself as
"house-trained," that actually means "I'm sick and tired of
having to clean up after myself." If he says he's "open-minded",
it means "I'd eventually like to have sex with all your girlfriends as well
as with you.…" when a woman describes herself as "feminine" it
means "you can pay for everything," and "happy" actually
means "on medication."
Links to Dating Services :
If you are brave enough to jump into the online dating game.
Here are some links that you may find useful.
Below are some Books You May Find Interesting. Click on the title to learn
more about them. Or if you would like to get a Book Club Membership, Click
Here.
Below are some CDs and other Multimedia Activities You May Find Interesting.
Click on the title to learn more about them.
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